RP Log: A Much-needed Pep Talk
| Roleplay Log | |
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| Participants: | |
Location(s):
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Stardate:
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| 2025-05-08 16:24 | |
Ramirez mans the tactical station, but, frankly, he looks pretty bored and it looks like there's nothing but a boring field of rock out there. He nods over to Hauser. "Commander."
Hauser frowns. "Kar Telos again? Ok I give. What are we doing out here, Chris?" She smiles at you.
Ramirez grins. "We're here, Commander, because Captain Shulon had an eight hour meeting with Admiral Svetzvani. Immediately thereafter, he ordered the bridge watch, very explicitly, to set a course for THIS specific belt of asteroids and to engage cruise warp." He shrugs. "And that's the last I've heard of anything, Commander Hauser. We're out here, in unclaimed space, hanging over a field of dead rocks."
Hauser nods. "We almost died last time we came to this field of dead rocks. Was that before you joined us?" She half asks herself. "had to strip a couple warp corps out of our runabouts to jump our engines, because of the Hur'q dampening field that was draining all our batteries. I ... think that was just before you reached us?"
Ramirez shakes his head. "I heard about it, and read the after action reports in the archives." He looks over. "But no. I wasn't done with advanced flight training yet." He shrugs. "I missed all the fun."
Hauser inputs a notice into her remote. When personnel arrive, she hands the bridge over to an Ops o-3. "C'mon," she says to you. "Let's get out of here and take a walk." She heads for the lift, stretching.
Ramirez lifts his brows, but nods, shortly. "Alrighty." He looks to her with a considering expression, clearly curious as to where her mind is at. With a practiced sort of absent motion, he locks his console.
- Arboretum - Saucer <USS Phoenix NCC-170100-A>
- Within the confines of the ship is a relative oasis of green grass, budding flowers, trees, birds, and even sunlight, although the latter is artificial. The arboretum is a piece of home for the officers and crew. There are several large trees here, each of a different species and planet of origin. A flower garden occupies one of the more open areas, while another is merely a field of close-cropped grass.
- Pathways meander through and around the trees, bushes, and flower patches, not unlike the grounds at Starfleet Academy. A simple stream, artificial in generation, but real nonetheless, makes its way through the space as well. A couple of the paths, when they intersect the stream, have wooden arched bridges to cross it. There are benches strewed about the arboretum for those who wish to sit and take in the ambience.
Ramirez follows along, and when they pass into this specific room, he stops, eyes closing. His head tilts back and he inhales the scent of earth and green, growing things with a soft, pleased, hedonistic little sigh. "This is my favorite place on the ship."
"It's a good spot," she agrees. When you open your eyes again and can see her, she starts walking down one of the pathways, looking relaxed. Finding a bench down one of the twisting pathways, she sits down on one end. "Here, this looks like a good spot." She gestures to Ramirez to sit, either on this one, or on the bench near to it.
Ramirez takes the other half on the indicated bench, sinking down into it with a little sigh. Blinking, he folds his hands in his lap, pose mostly relaxed..though he still seems a touch guarded, truth be told. Presently, he tilts his head. "I spent my first couple of weeks aboard classifying every species in here. Did you know they created a managed, integrated ecosystem using plants and animals from every single federation world when they built this place?"
Hauser nods. "I did know that," in fact," she says easily. "It's a lot of effort to make a space like this, and some argue that they're not necessary thanks to the invention of the holodeck. But," and she removes her commbadge and rank insignia, pocketing them. "I don't agree," she finishes.
Ramirez nods. His eyes follow her commbadge and rank coming off, and there is something between confusion, wariness, and interest as she does it. His voice, though, remains smooth and light and at ease. "Nor do I. Most species are made to desire growing things. Rich earth. We, each of us, have a need to be close to the place that birthed us, and holodecks can never replace that."
The vessel vibrates slightly as it accelerates to warp speeds.
Hauser nods. "Very true," she says. She stays where she is, but turns her gaze upon Ramirez. "I put my bling in my pocket because I don't want you to feel compelled to talk to me, but I'm also concerned about ya," she says kindly. "To be honest, Cris, you seem ... depressed? Not yourself, over the past few weeks, and I should know, given how much time we've spent working on things. So, I want to ask you if there's something going on that's got you down."
Ramirez sighs, and shakes his head. His bright blue eyes move up to hers. "It's not a mystery, Jessica. Hatter was taken on my watch. I was there when we watched those....those savages murder another boat filled with Hur'q. I was at the helm when we crossed the border."
He shrugs, finally. "My career might be over before it started, I'm partly responsible for the CAG probably being tortured right now, and none of it even matters, because the Hur'q I did my level best to save are still dead."
She listens, wanting to be sure she's not about to interrupt him. There is a quiet beat. "You feel responsible for Hatter. And down about the fact that we failed to get our data to the Hur'q?" She asks. "I just want to be sure I'm picking up what you're putting down."
Ramirez shakes his head. "That one's not on me. The data. No..I'm talking about the ship we saved initially in Karemma." He looks at Hauser. "...I flew the ship VERY well. Kept us within a few hundred light seconds, at warp, while dodging 117 different Dominion vessels in the area, while Luz projected a hologram over that ship. I did it without firing a shot. And they got away."
His eyes look from hers, and are then cast to the deck. "Not many people could do what I did, Jessica. But then the Hur'q ran. We just...did nothing. We watched as the Dominion rolled up, detected us, snatched Hatter from 180,000 light seconds, and then we got caught on the wrong side of the Dominion border. Then I had to watch them all die in fire. Again."
A pause, then: "And, also...I am pretty sure I'm going down along with Worthington for that one, because I was the one flying. So what's the point of any of this?"
Hauser listens. "I know I wasn't there, and I can only go on reports of the mission, none of which are complete in and of themselves. That said, yours are often very good. Now listen to me, Cris," she says, waiting until she has your full, undivided attention.
Ramirez looks up from the deck, blinking. Though he's struggling to not get overwrought, there is weariness, concern, and, yes, not a little despair, there. "I'm listening."
"Cris, no one's perfect," Hauser says. "Not you, not me, not the captain himself. You can always second guess this or that. But now, remember that day, gosh it must have been one of the first days you were aboard. I had the bridge, and we accidentally crossed the dominion border. And the Dominion yelled at us. You remember?"
Ramirez nods. "I do. Yes." He laughs, shortly. "That was my very first watch, actually."
Hauser nods. "Quiz time. Who bore primary responsibility for that mistake?"
Ramirez sighs. "I know the answer professionally, Jessica. Whoever has the conn is responsible. Period." He nods, watching her face seriously. "I know Worthington was in command. I did exactly what I was ordered to do. But I didn't /disagree/ vocally, Jessica! I /knew/ what the right professional call was, no matter how much I wanted to help the Hur'q. I didn't voice those concerns. And now Hatter's gone."
He shrugs. "I can't undo it. I didn't make the final call. But...ensign or not? I knew it was the wrong call, Jessica. And I kept my mouth shut."
"What," Hauser asks, "do you think would have been the right course of action? I wasn't there, so it might help if you kinda lay it out for me."
Ramirez frowns. "Worthington knew they had long range transporter capability, and he didn't tell me about it until after the fact. We had seen several indications that they could see through the cloak in the previous weeks. Had I known about the long range transporters capability, I would have objected more strongly." He is clearly working something out, real time.
"We should have stayed back outside of short range sensors and recorded their war crimes so that we had hard evidence of their misdeeds at the negotiating table. THAT was the smart call. Getting in range of their transporters with shields down when we KNEW they could see through the cloak was a terrible decision, Jessica. Objectively. Hatter might be dead because of it."
She listens. Then she considers in silence. "I admit I didn't know about Dominion long range transporter tech, but I'm not the history buff that the XO is," she says. "Chris, I have two pieces of advice for you. K? No, make it 3."
Ramirez nods, looking up, to your face. "I'm listening." And he is. His tone is even, carefully controlled.
Hauser holds up three fingers. "One, stop beating yourself up. You did your job. Was there a better way? Sounds like maybe there was, but that wasn't your call, and it's not your responsibility." She folds that finger down, leaving two up. "Second, remember this moment. When you are in command of a mission and have a chance to make a better call, make it."
She puts that finger down and has just one left. "Last, I think, if you haven't been doing so, it would be good for you to talk with the ship's counselor. Formally. About what's on your mind. That's what she's here for."
Ramirez sighs. And he nods. "You're not wrong." He shrugs. "I try to not bother her. We, uh..." He shrugs. "Well. Not like it's a secret we're in a relationship. She's going through a lot right now, too. I didn't want to add to her burdens."
Hauser nods. "It's not a secret. But the mental welfare of this crew is her job," Hauser says. "If she doesn't feel she can handle your stresses because you're involved, there are other counselors aboard." A beat. "Are you and Hatter close?"
Ramirez shakes his head. "Not particularly. But he did teach me quite a bit. I respect the man. And he's still...." He chews on his lower lip. "Jessica, I'm never going to be the smartest guy in any Starfleet room. I'm no scientist. I'm not really an engineer, either. I just...know a lot about ships, about tactics, and about how things have to be." He shrugs. "My job is literally to keep the people who matter safe. And I failed. Or, at least, I was part of a larger failure."
Hauser shakes her head. "You were there when the failure happened. That doesn't make you responsible for it. Don't beat yourself up about someone else's mistake, because you will make your own, in due time. I don't know if the captain will discipline the XO or not. I don't know when he decides that's needed, and when not. But we will get Choma back. In fact, I'm working on something now, all I can say. But I want you to promise me that you will talk to Miri. It's not an order. I don't want to make it one. But I want you to talk to our counselor. K?"
Ramirez nods. Once. "All right. I will." He doesn't actually say 'I promise,' but the tone implies it. "I will." He looks over. "If we get the chance to rescue him, I'm going in with that team." It's not a question. It's a certainty. "I know it's risky. That's fine."
Hauser nods. "Good, because if I get to command the mission I'm gonna propose, you're the pilot I'd want." She grins.